All My Love Things

Brides are shedding thousands of unnecessary dollars from their big days and still getting their dream weddings by shopping on buy, swap and sell website Gumtree.

Every bride and groom knows wedding costs can be astronomical.

But thanks to some thrifty thinking, newlywed Alannah Poole believes she got her dream day for a dream price and saved $10,000 in the process.

"It is just one day," she told A Current Affair.

"It's important not to really go overboard and get too swept-up.

Among the items Ms Poole was able to find cheaper on Gumtree were a bridesmaid dress which normally retails for $320 (she purchased it for $120), pew bows for $10 and a collection of candy buffet jars for $20.

"Looking back, I got exactly what I wanted for a fraction of the cost," she said.

However, she has a warning for anybody looking to buy or sell on Gumtree: "Make sure that you meet in person, take delivery of the item in person. Just be aware and probably know if it seems too good to be true, it probably is."

Fellow bride-to-be Thea McKie was surprised with the amount of money she saved by purchasing her wedding decorations on Gumtree.

She believes she saved "in the hundreds or thousands" of dollars.

Not only that, but Ms McKie also on-sold all her wedding goods on Gumtree.

"There's a huge market and people are really keen with Gumtree. There's a huge selection," she said.

Ms McKie also on-sold most of her wedding supplies on Gumtree

Wedding stylist Karen Orr, who runs Neon Garage on the NSW Central Coast, often hires out wedding props.

She says going second-hand is a good way to get the unique look a lot of brides seek out.

Ms Orr recommends brides-to-be head to Pinterest to get a clear vision of what they want, then hit up thrift stores and websites like eBay, Etsy and Gumtree.

"They can save as much as they want to. One of the best weddings I've ever been to is a backyard barbecue," she said.

"It's about how they make their guests feel and how much they love each other."

Gumtree spokesperson Kirsty Dunn recommends shoppers do their research before embarking on buying, swapping or selling.

"There is almost 40,000 items currently listed with the term 'wedding' on Gumtree," she said.

"Always do your research... Ask why the item is for sale, ask if there are any receipts or warranties and always negotiation as well. If someone set the price at $100, though, don't offer $10."

Washington A-listers Joan and Bernard Carl wanted a beautiful wedding for their oldest child. And for the most part, they got it.

The lavish June 2015 celebration for 250 guests in the garden of their Southampton estate was gorgeous. The bride wore Oscar de la Renta. There were 3,500 white roses individually studded into the lawn, a five-course dinner beneath massive chandeliers of greenery and a seven-tier wedding cake.

The mother of the bride commissioned monogrammed napkins for each place setting, as well as a custom fabric for the tables and the flower girl’s dress. There was a beachfront rehearsal dinner. The reception included a specialty cocktail served in an ostrich eggshell; the after parties offered a Calvados and cigar bar, plus hot chocolate and brownie stations.

A week later, the couple exchanged vows in a small candlelight ceremony in the 16th-century chapel at the family chateau in the Loire Valley, followed by hot-air ballooning the next morning. Both ceremonies were featured in Brides magazine last year with the headline: “This Couple’s Multi-Day Wedding in the Hamptons and in France Will Blow You Away.”

But behind the scenes, there was drama. So much drama that the wedding nearly got called off.

Planning a wedding can make anyone crazy. Adults go their entire lives not caring about table linens, and suddenly they’re fighting about whether napkins should be white or ecru. Costs spiral out of control because you simply must have that food truck for midnight donuts. And when a wedding budget tops seven figures, expectations and emotions can run exceptionally high.

So maybe it’s not surprising that a legal battle is brewing between Los Angeles-based celebrity event planner Mindy Weiss and the Carls. Weiss, who designed the Southampton ceremony — which cost upward of a million dollars — is suing the couple for more than $340,000 in unpaid fees and expenses, plus $1.4 million in damages. The Carls claim that Weiss went on an unauthorized spending spree on their dime and is holding the bridal video hostage unless they pay her inflated bill.

“I think there are people who prey on people’s love for their children, they prey on their vanity, they try to take advantage of it,” Bernard Carl says. “I think that’s a really sordid part of life that, if you have the good fortune of having some affluence, you have to live with. But it doesn’t make it pleasant.”

Weiss did not return calls seeking comment. But in her lawsuit filed last month in the U.S. Eastern District of New York, she contends that she worked “feverishly” to plan the weddingand covered more than $267,000 in expenses out of her own pocket — with the Carls’ permission, via what she calls a “Vendor Advance Contract.”

The Carls contend that Weiss was hired to consult and recommend other vendors but was never authorized to enter into contracts on their behalf. Yet they say she did just that, hiring favored L.A. friends at outrageous prices instead of New York-based companies as they requested.

In retrospect, it was probably a bad fit from the start. Weiss, “Party Planner to the Stars,” is best known for extravagant, over-the-top weddings for celebrity clients such as Sofia Vergara, Ellen DeGeneres, Gwen Stefani, the Kardashians and ABC’s “The Bachelor.” The Carls, who have homes in Kalorama, the Hamptons, London and France, keep a relatively low profile and are horrified that the private family celebration and subsequent lawsuit, first reported in London’s Daily Mail, have become tabloid fodder.

“It is clear to me that we didn’t do our homework on Mindy, that her very Hollywood aesthetic was just a really poor match with our objectives and image for this event,” Carl says. “And we didn’t sense that early enough. That was our mistake.”

The Carls — he’s an investor and lawyer and co-owns D. Porthault, the French luxury linens company, with his wife — hired Weiss in May 2014 to plan the wedding of their older daughter, Alex. They had interviewed a number of elite planners and sought advice from their longtime friend and florist, Jeff Leatham, who says he suggested Weiss “without hesitation. She’s one of the best in the industry.” After she interviewed with the bride-to-be, the Carls tapped her and paid half of her $50,000 consulting fee.

Initially, everyone was excited — it was, after all, the first wedding of the Carls’ three children. When the Carls began to have doubts about Weiss, they say they stayed quiet because they didn’t want to upset the bride-to-be. That proved to be a huge miscalculation — by the spring of 2015, the relationship between Weiss and the Carls had devolved into finger-pointing, angry emails and demands for money.

Initially, everyone was excited — it was, after all, the first wedding of the Carls’ three children. When the Carls began to have doubts about Weiss, they say they stayed quiet because they didn’t want to upset the bride-to-be. That proved to be a huge miscalculation — by the spring of 2015, the relationship between Weiss and the Carls had devolved into finger-pointing, angry emails and demands for money.

Days before the wedding, Leatham attempted to intercede and got into a testy email exchange with an angry Carl, who wrote that he is the “hound from hell” to anyone who causes pain to his family or attempts to take advantage of them. (The two men made up; Leatham says he was paid “every cent I was due” for his floral designs at both ceremonies.)

An executive with another high-end event company, who is not part of the lawsuit but asked not to be named because he knows Weiss and Leatham, said that the mistake was not nailing down a dollar figure for the affair far in advance. “We get a number from the client, and we design a wedding to that budget,” he says. And his business never pays vendors with company funds: “If the client doesn’t cut the check, they don’t get the wedding.”

The expenses Weiss says she paid for upfront include more than $45,000 for her staff to work the wedding, $48,000 in travel expenses, $38,000 for lighting, $10,000 for the videographer, and more. All those little wedding favors add up, too: $4,300 for totes, $5,000 for T-shirts, $1,000 for hangover Tylenol pouches.

The Carls paid for the caterer, the florist, the photographer, the band and other services directly. Aside from what he considers excessive charges, Bernard says he also has a lot of issues with the service Weiss provided. The caterer and the band weren’t given a schedule for the reception. Heel protectors (which keep stilettos from sinking into the grass) didn’t work. The hired dressers had no clue how to bustle a wedding gown. The brownie station was poorly lit and sparsely attended. The bride and groom’s dogs, which were in the wedding procession, were left out of the wedding photos. Weiss didn’t have a Plan B for rain, which started to fall just before the ceremony.

He also says that Weiss promised that the wedding was her only event that June, a claim he says her own social media account disproves. Instead of a customized event, they got Weiss’s go-to Hollywood excess. He’s willing to pay about $100,000 of the “legitimate expenses” in the outstanding balance — once Weiss releases his daughter’s wedding video.

Weiss’s lawyer, Menachem Bensinger, did not provide a copy of the “Vendor Advance Contract” and confirmed that it was not included in the exhibits given to the court, adding that some contracts are oral or “implied.” He did not respond to questions about other details, including the alleged hostage wedding video.

Hindsight is always 20-20. The Carls admit that they never would have allowed a business deal to continue for months with the same misgivings. But it was their first wedding, and emotions got the better of them.

What should have happened, according to industry experts, is that the Carls should have fired Weiss as soon it was clear that they were a bad fit — or Weiss should have quit. That would have been a graceful exit for both parties.

Alas, no one pulled that trigger because no one wanted to upset the bride. And now: a messy and public lawsuit.

“Everyone had Alex’s best interests in mind,” Leatham says. “It hurts my heart that this is happening.”

I swear anything KT Merry points her camera at turns to instant wedding gold. My latest snippet of proof? This wine country dreamfest made gorgeous by A Savvy Event, Nancy Liu Chin, Julie Morgan, Artistry By Danika and so many more. Think the softest pink-on-pink color palette with a hint of ivory and mint mixed in for good measure. And from tasty libations to a dinner al fresco, Marmalade Sky Films proved that this is one celebration that spoiled guests from beginning to end.

Wedding season has officially started and the race to find the perfect dress is on. Brides can rest easy this year thanks to the recent launch of Revolve's bridal collection. Below are our top finds for LA brides. 

Revolve launched their new bridal and occasion section, appropriately-named “The Wedding Shop,” last week. A one-stop boutique for some of the best on-trend contemporary brands, Revolve has mastered the Cali-cool look for over a decade. So, it’s no surprise that its wedding selection is equally LA-centric. Read on for our top sartorial picks from the retailer's wedding collection, which are guaranteed to make you happily ever after.

Amara Sheer Inset Maxi Dress, Rachel Zoe ($295). 

Having dressed some of the most fashionable women in the entertainment industry, Rachel Zoe knows a thing or two about looking fabulous when you need to. Leave it to her to create a timeless albeit sexy modern wedding dress with a wallet-friendly price to match. Sheer inserts and a wide shoulder silhouette lend to its sporty look, while a thigh-high front slit and gathered back detail play up the bride’s curves.

X Revolve Gillian Wedding Dress, For Love & Lemons ($1,100).

For Malibu ranch weddings complete with picnic tables, succulent floral arrangements, and Mason jar cocktails, Revolve partnered with contemporary brand For Love & Lemons. Intricate lace details, fluttering sleeves, and a flattering silhouette make this dress a subtle showstopper.

Crystal Petal Maxi Dress, Needle & Thread ($352). 

Part Disney Princess, part prima ballerina, the Crystal Petal Maxi Dress is for the bride who wants a feminine, fairytale look. Hailing from England, designer Needle & Thread is known for its intricate detailing, contemporary cuts, and vintage-inspired slip dresses. Plus, the gown comes with an economical extra—the adjustable straps mean little to no alterations needed.

Black Ryland Sequin Dress, Parker Black ($594). 

Known for its uptown-meets-downtown vibe, NYC-based brand Parker specializes in feminine separates with a touch of whimsy. Unsurprisingly, its evening-wear label, Parker Black, is a perfect extension of the brand, offering classic silhouettes, luxe details, and red carpet-worthy designs. Its Ryland sequin wedding dress complete with pinstriped sequins, a thick feather hem, and sexy side slits is the perfect gown for an Art Deco-inspired wedding.

Cross Back Matching Lace Set, Alice + Olivia ($950).

For brides who have been gluten-, alcohol-, and dairy-free since their engagement party, Alice + Olivia’s sexy Cross Back Matching Lace Set is the ideal way to show off months of willpower and FlyWheel classes. The simple silhouette hugs the body in all the right places, thanks to its high-waisted skirt and exposed, cross-back details, but the silk underlay keeps the look church-friendly.

While some wedding traditions are lovely and make for lasting memories, others feel forced, dated and altogether irrelevant.

Interestingly enough, many of the expectations and traditions that we consider integral to getting married are actually the invention of savvy advertisers. Here are five you may not have known about:

1. Diamond engagement rings prove your love.

 

The engagement ring wasn't always mandatory -- and it wasn't always a diamond. Then, in 1938, the De Beers diamond company launched an aggressive marketing campaign to make the engagement ring a "psychological necessity" for any couple who wanted to get married. The De Beers campaign swayed popular opinion through events like organized lectures at high schools across the country promoting the importance of the diamond ring. And it worked: diamond sales rose 55 percent in the United States from 1938 to 1941. In 1947, they launched the slogan "Diamonds are forever," and by the '50s, De Beers advertisers were pleased to note that young people were delaying their marriages until they could afford a ring.

2. So you'd better spend two months salary on it.

 

De Beers was also responsible for the conventional wisdom that a man ought to spend two-months' worth of salary on an engagement ring. Their successful ads in the late '40s used catchphrases like, "You can't look at Jane without telling me she's worth two months' salary. Just look at her". De Beers even set various standards around the world; in Japan, three months' salary was advertised. They also promoted the "surprise engagement" after their marketing research determined that men chose more expensive engagement rings when they went shopping without their wives. 

3. A guest must buy the couple a nice gift, selected from a wedding registry

 

You may think that giving the new couple a place setting or knife set is the height of politeness, but for most of human history, wedding guests weren't socially expected to bring gifts unless they were family or intimate friends. Gifts were typically humble house necessities, like linens. Then, in 1924, Marshall Field's, now Macy's, created the first wedding registry and many retailers followed suit to encourage guests to purchase luxury goods, like fine china and silver for the new couple. Today, about 96 percent of couples register for gifts.  

4. Your dress should be ornate, enormous, white, and you must only wear it once in your life.

 

Queen Victoria first made the enormous white wedding dress a thing in 1830, but for a long time, only the very wealthy wore the style. Up until the 1930s, women would often get married in dresses they already owned or buy new, reusable dresses in darker colors that wouldn't stain. The white, full-skirted "once-in-a-lifetime" wedding dress likely originated with department store bridal salons in the late '20s, who saw the money-making potential of marketing expensive dresses that women would never wear again.

Before then, wedding dresses had typically followed fashion hemlines of the moment, but the bridal industry attempted to "maximize profits by promoting more expensive floor-length gowns." That ideal wedding dress was promoted throughout wedding magazines and advertisements. In the '60s, the Bridal Apparel Association even commissioned studies that attempted to prove that a white wedding dress made for a more stable marriage.  

5. If you spend enough, you can buy your "perfect wedding."

 

If having the perfect wedding seems impossible to achieve, that's because it's an imaginary standard. As Cele Otnes and Elizabeth Pleck wrote in "Cinderella Dreams,""The idea of the perfect wedding is not age-old, but instead was created by the bridal industry and eventually accepted by the public," and likely was first popularized in the 1920s. In the years that followed, they note, "the word appears in the founding statement of every bridal magazine or bridal association..." and was used to advertise everything from wedding menus to bachelorette parties. While weddings had previously been homemade, often humble affairs for most Americans, the quest for "perfection" necessitated tons of spending.