All My Love Things

While many disastrous scenarios inevitably run through your mind before the big day arrives, one of these is probably not someone objecting to you and your fiancé's union. But thanks to a recent thread on Reddit, it seems that what we long thought of as a rhetorical question isn't so rhetorical after all. At least, not according to these people.
On the Ask Reddit page, OneInAZillion asked the community this question: "Redditors who have objected at weddings or seen someone object, what happened in the next 5 minutes?" Surprisingly, a good number of people had a harrowing story to tell. But before you read on and get worked up by the (slim) possibility that this may happen on your own wedding day, keep this professional's comment in mind. "As a measurement as to how often this happens: I work weddings and have attending somewhere north of 300 weddings," Star_Tropic wrote on the thread. "I have never seen nor heard of this happening at any event I have worked. Nor have I heard of other industry professionals that I'm in contact with experience it."
Now that you're feeling calmer, here are a few of the most cringeworthy stories we found.

"When the pastor got to the part 'or forever hold your peace,' the bride said, 'Yes, I'd like to say something.' Then she turned around to her guests and said, 'I'd like to thank my maid of honor for sleeping with my fiancé last night.' With that, she threw her bouquet and stormed off. The story even made it on the radio at the time."

"I was a waiter for a venue that had a lot of weddings. We typically watched the wedding ourselves from the second floor and waited for everyone to come up for the reception. A guest for the wedding arrived a few hours early, so he sat in the restaurant and had a few too many drinks. He yelled, 'DON'T F*CKING DO IT (bride's name here). HE'S AN A**HOLE.' There was the typical gasp by the crowd, then it was just silence as people from the bar escorted him out."

"I was at a college buddy's wedding when a drunken childhood friend of the bride tried to stand up and profess his love for her. The bride's father immediately stood up and tried to haul off said drunken guy by the ear, except he was so pissed he pulled too hard and partially severed the guy's ear... The dude screamed like a small girl [and] a few people even applauded."

"My friend's older brother is a lawyer. He was marrying a lawyer. Most of their friends are lawyers. The officiant was a judge who was a friend of theirs. He and his fiancé thought it would be funny to plant someone in the audience. They got a friend to yell "I Object!" to which the judge yelled "Overruled!" It seemed to have gone over well for most but I don't think some of their family members got it."

"My dad marrying his third wife. My step brother and I were in the wedding party. He was about 6, I was 10. The preacher asks if anyone objects and my brother raises his hand so very politely. My dad asks why, and my step brother replies, 'because I want you to promise to take me fishing whenever I want, first.' "

"This happened at one of my friend's sibling's weddings. Her parents are super conservative and hadn't gotten the chance to know the daughter's fiancé very well before they got married. In their minds all that was relevant about him was that he was 10 years older than her and had previously divorced. They had made subtle comments here and there before the wedding that they weren't happy about it. It should have been a forewarning of what was to come. The day of the wedding, everything was beautiful. Friend's sister and her fiancé were ecstatic to be getting married and invited friends and family from both sides to their outdoor wedding. All was going well, until the preacher asks the audience if anyone has objections to why they should get married. And as serious as can be, dad of the bride stands up and says 'Her mother and I object,' and then after a long hesitation sits back down. Silence. No one can believe that that just happened. Not knowing exactly how to handle it, the preacher just says 'Ok' and finishes the ceremony as planned."

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Brides are shedding thousands of unnecessary dollars from their big days and still getting their dream weddings by shopping on buy, swap and sell website Gumtree.

Every bride and groom knows wedding costs can be astronomical.

But thanks to some thrifty thinking, newlywed Alannah Poole believes she got her dream day for a dream price and saved $10,000 in the process.

"It is just one day," she told A Current Affair.

"It's important not to really go overboard and get too swept-up.

Among the items Ms Poole was able to find cheaper on Gumtree were a bridesmaid dress which normally retails for $320 (she purchased it for $120), pew bows for $10 and a collection of candy buffet jars for $20.

"Looking back, I got exactly what I wanted for a fraction of the cost," she said.

However, she has a warning for anybody looking to buy or sell on Gumtree: "Make sure that you meet in person, take delivery of the item in person. Just be aware and probably know if it seems too good to be true, it probably is."

Fellow bride-to-be Thea McKie was surprised with the amount of money she saved by purchasing her wedding decorations on Gumtree.

She believes she saved "in the hundreds or thousands" of dollars.

Not only that, but Ms McKie also on-sold all her wedding goods on Gumtree.

"There's a huge market and people are really keen with Gumtree. There's a huge selection," she said.

Ms McKie also on-sold most of her wedding supplies on Gumtree

Wedding stylist Karen Orr, who runs Neon Garage on the NSW Central Coast, often hires out wedding props.

She says going second-hand is a good way to get the unique look a lot of brides seek out.

Ms Orr recommends brides-to-be head to Pinterest to get a clear vision of what they want, then hit up thrift stores and websites like eBay, Etsy and Gumtree.

"They can save as much as they want to. One of the best weddings I've ever been to is a backyard barbecue," she said.

"It's about how they make their guests feel and how much they love each other."

Gumtree spokesperson Kirsty Dunn recommends shoppers do their research before embarking on buying, swapping or selling.

"There is almost 40,000 items currently listed with the term 'wedding' on Gumtree," she said.

"Always do your research... Ask why the item is for sale, ask if there are any receipts or warranties and always negotiation as well. If someone set the price at $100, though, don't offer $10."

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Mothers day is only a few weeks away and it gives us all a chance to show just how amazing some of the lovely women in our lives are. It’s not only your mum you can thank, as I also buy presents for both my grandmothers and my aunty’s as well; as they’re all such a huge part of my life. They’re all such strong, independent, hard working women that have moulded me into the woman I am today and are forever in support of what I do. So, I think it’s only right to show them my appreciation during this special day. However, they’re not always easy to buy for, as they all have different taste’s and already have lot’s of things themselves. So, I thought I would compile a little gift guide, with a few present ideas for you this Mothers Day.

There’s one thing that you can never go wrong with buying and giving this mothers day, and that has to be flowers. I don’t know of one woman that doesn’t love a beautiful bunch of flowers and they’re even better when they’re bought buy someone else. They will definitely not last forever, however they will give someone an amazing amount of pleasure whilst they’re alive, and they’re amazing at making your home have that spring vibe. My favourite ones have to be tulips, because I just love the shape and how feminine they.

On the other hand, If your mum is really into beauty and looking after her skin, then why don’t you buy her some gorgeous new beauty products. At the minute, I’m really loving these two lovely products from the skincare brand Liz Earle. Not only is the brand truly British and home-grown right in this country, which is actually really rare nowadays, they also use all naturally active ingredients to make really gentle yet effective, skincare products. I particularly love the cleanse and polish, as you can combine the steps of removing your makeup and washing your face together. It’s also super gentle on your skin, and works really well with my normal to oily skin type; as it does not strip all the moisture from my skin but just lightly cleans and revitalises it.

If all things beauty and skincare isn’t quite down your mum’s street, then a good book might be the answer to all your present problems. This ‘Inside Vogue’ book is the prefect choice for that amazing woman in your life that no only loves a good book, but is also really into the world of Fashion. I absolutely loved every single minute of this diary style book, and getting an insight into what life is truly like to be the editor in chief of vogue magazine. One of the oldest, biggest and most prestigious fashion magazines in the world. This really is a must-read and I’ve written a review all about HERE, if you’re considering buying it for your mum this Mothers Day.

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Washington A-listers Joan and Bernard Carl wanted a beautiful wedding for their oldest child. And for the most part, they got it.

The lavish June 2015 celebration for 250 guests in the garden of their Southampton estate was gorgeous. The bride wore Oscar de la Renta. There were 3,500 white roses individually studded into the lawn, a five-course dinner beneath massive chandeliers of greenery and a seven-tier wedding cake.

The mother of the bride commissioned monogrammed napkins for each place setting, as well as a custom fabric for the tables and the flower girl’s dress. There was a beachfront rehearsal dinner. The reception included a specialty cocktail served in an ostrich eggshell; the after parties offered a Calvados and cigar bar, plus hot chocolate and brownie stations.

A week later, the couple exchanged vows in a small candlelight ceremony in the 16th-century chapel at the family chateau in the Loire Valley, followed by hot-air ballooning the next morning. Both ceremonies were featured in Brides magazine last year with the headline: “This Couple’s Multi-Day Wedding in the Hamptons and in France Will Blow You Away.”

But behind the scenes, there was drama. So much drama that the wedding nearly got called off.

Planning a wedding can make anyone crazy. Adults go their entire lives not caring about table linens, and suddenly they’re fighting about whether napkins should be white or ecru. Costs spiral out of control because you simply must have that food truck for midnight donuts. And when a wedding budget tops seven figures, expectations and emotions can run exceptionally high.

So maybe it’s not surprising that a legal battle is brewing between Los Angeles-based celebrity event planner Mindy Weiss and the Carls. Weiss, who designed the Southampton ceremony — which cost upward of a million dollars — is suing the couple for more than $340,000 in unpaid fees and expenses, plus $1.4 million in damages. The Carls claim that Weiss went on an unauthorized spending spree on their dime and is holding the bridal video hostage unless they pay her inflated bill.

“I think there are people who prey on people’s love for their children, they prey on their vanity, they try to take advantage of it,” Bernard Carl says. “I think that’s a really sordid part of life that, if you have the good fortune of having some affluence, you have to live with. But it doesn’t make it pleasant.”

Weiss did not return calls seeking comment. But in her lawsuit filed last month in the U.S. Eastern District of New York, she contends that she worked “feverishly” to plan the weddingand covered more than $267,000 in expenses out of her own pocket — with the Carls’ permission, via what she calls a “Vendor Advance Contract.”

The Carls contend that Weiss was hired to consult and recommend other vendors but was never authorized to enter into contracts on their behalf. Yet they say she did just that, hiring favored L.A. friends at outrageous prices instead of New York-based companies as they requested.

In retrospect, it was probably a bad fit from the start. Weiss, “Party Planner to the Stars,” is best known for extravagant, over-the-top weddings for celebrity clients such as Sofia Vergara, Ellen DeGeneres, Gwen Stefani, the Kardashians and ABC’s “The Bachelor.” The Carls, who have homes in Kalorama, the Hamptons, London and France, keep a relatively low profile and are horrified that the private family celebration and subsequent lawsuit, first reported in London’s Daily Mail, have become tabloid fodder.

“It is clear to me that we didn’t do our homework on Mindy, that her very Hollywood aesthetic was just a really poor match with our objectives and image for this event,” Carl says. “And we didn’t sense that early enough. That was our mistake.”

The Carls — he’s an investor and lawyer and co-owns D. Porthault, the French luxury linens company, with his wife — hired Weiss in May 2014 to plan the wedding of their older daughter, Alex. They had interviewed a number of elite planners and sought advice from their longtime friend and florist, Jeff Leatham, who says he suggested Weiss “without hesitation. She’s one of the best in the industry.” After she interviewed with the bride-to-be, the Carls tapped her and paid half of her $50,000 consulting fee.

Initially, everyone was excited — it was, after all, the first wedding of the Carls’ three children. When the Carls began to have doubts about Weiss, they say they stayed quiet because they didn’t want to upset the bride-to-be. That proved to be a huge miscalculation — by the spring of 2015, the relationship between Weiss and the Carls had devolved into finger-pointing, angry emails and demands for money.

Days before the wedding, Leatham attempted to intercede and got into a testy email exchange with an angry Carl, who wrote that he is the “hound from hell” to anyone who causes pain to his family or attempts to take advantage of them. (The two men made up; Leatham says he was paid “every cent I was due” for his floral designs at both ceremonies.)

An executive with another high-end event company, who is not part of the lawsuit but asked not to be named because he knows Weiss and Leatham, said that the mistake was not nailing down a dollar figure for the affair far in advance. “We get a number from the client, and we design a wedding to that budget,” he says. And his business never pays vendors with company funds: “If the client doesn’t cut the check, they don’t get the wedding.”

The expenses Weiss says she paid for upfront include more than $45,000 for her staff to work the wedding, $48,000 in travel expenses, $38,000 for lighting, $10,000 for the videographer, and more. All those little wedding favors add up, too: $4,300 for totes, $5,000 for T-shirts, $1,000 for hangover Tylenol pouches.

The Carls paid for the caterer, the florist, the photographer, the band and other services directly. Aside from what he considers excessive charges, Bernard says he also has a lot of issues with the service Weiss provided. The caterer and the band weren’t given a schedule for the reception. Heel protectors (which keep stilettos from sinking into the grass) didn’t work. The hired dressers had no clue how to bustle a wedding gown. The brownie station was poorly lit and sparsely attended. The bride and groom’s dogs, which were in the wedding procession, were left out of the wedding photos. Weiss didn’t have a Plan B for rain, which started to fall just before the ceremony.

He also says that Weiss promised that the wedding was her only event that June, a claim he says her own social media account disproves. Instead of a customized event, they got Weiss’s go-to Hollywood excess. He’s willing to pay about $100,000 of the “legitimate expenses” in the outstanding balance — once Weiss releases his daughter’s wedding video.

Weiss’s lawyer, Menachem Bensinger, did not provide a copy of the “Vendor Advance Contract” and confirmed that it was not included in the exhibits given to the court, adding that some contracts are oral or “implied.” He did not respond to questions about other details, including the alleged hostage wedding video.

Hindsight is always 20-20. The Carls admit that they never would have allowed a business deal to continue for months with the same misgivings. But it was their first wedding, and emotions got the better of them.

What should have happened, according to industry experts, is that the Carls should have fired Weiss as soon it was clear that they were a bad fit — or Weiss should have quit. That would have been a graceful exit for both parties.

Alas, no one pulled that trigger because no one wanted to upset the bride. And now: a messy and public lawsuit.

“Everyone had Alex’s best interests in mind,” Leatham says. “It hurts my heart that this is happening.”

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With over 200 wineries in the immediate region, many who beautifully host weddings and receptions, the happy “couple to be” has an enormous range of excellent places to choose from.

As a former wedding photographer, I have been treated royally by some, and not so by others. So I’ll recount the 5 best wineries to host events – at least the five best that I have experience with.

These are in no particular order. All are first class, and treat the guests, caterers and yes, even photographers very well.

Buttonwood Grove is roughly 30 miles up the west side of Cayuga Lake. With a pond, arch, natural amphitheater like seating area overlooking the lake and generous seating room inside for the reception, the winery is picture perfect.

I’ve had the good fortune to photograph two weddings at Buttonwood Grove and in each case the staff went far beyond expectations to make everyone welcome.
And their Sycamore Blush is delightful.

Wagner Vineyards and Ginny Lee Café is one of the larger venues for celebrations in the region. Between and behind the winery and café is a huge yard overlooking Seneca Lake which can be set up for any kind of event. Proms, weddings, reunions – they are all within their range of expertise and are welcomed.

Wagner’s wines – and their beers as well - are top quality along with Ginny Lee’s excellent food. I am particularly fond of their Cayuga White…

Chateau LaFayette Reneau also overlooks Seneca Lake. The spectacular landscaping frames several spots appropriate for ceremonies. The exotic flowers, and the trellis surrounded by shrubs make for a perfect, intimate setting.

A grove of Aspen about a quarter mile down the hill from the winery would make a magnificent site for an personal and nature centered ceremony. I’m a romantic. What can I say?

The Owner’s Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon tastes like… more, please.

Thirsty Owl Winery on the West shore of Cayuga Lake adds fun and flair to celebrations of any kind. This is a more intimate venue with a small café in the rear and a large yard surrounded by vineyard.

The owners make their Kubota utility vehicle available to take fun photos of the wedding party, and even give (excellent) advice on how to accomplish the posing. Having never done a Kubota pose, their assistance was very welcome.

Make a point of trying their 2014 Vidal Blanc. You’ll know why when you taste it.

Six Mile Creek Vineyard completes this set. Located about four miles east of Ithaca on Rt 79, the winery overlooks the Six Mile Creek valley. The rolling and protected terrain is perfect for growing the Cayuga and Vignoles grapes, and lends itself perfectly to a romantic wedding.

With its pond, expansive flower filled trellis and paths, the Six Mile Creek Vineyard’s site can create an intimate feeling, yet it is large enough to host hundreds of people.

I can’t say enough about the people of Six Mile Creek. Their friendliness is beyond measure. And their Quintessence is tasty beyond measure.

As I said, this is by no means a complete list. Other wineries that host weddings in our region can be found at http://wineryweddingguide.com/NewYorkFingerLakes.html, including all here except the Thirsty Owl.

And you don’t need the excuse of a wedding to visit these wineries. Plan a day – or two – or three to experience some of the world class wines - and home town friendliness these wineries offer.

After all, they are all easily within reach.

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